If you’ve been looking for advice on how to get your ex-boyfriend back after a long time, we’d like to tell you that sometimes the worst thing you can do to get what you want is to listen to other people’s advice. Why?
Every relationship is unique and each couple has its own set of dynamics, with each half of the pair reacting differently to different circumstances. In other words, what may work on other ex-boyfriends may not work on your ex-boyfriend. And so it goes.
But if you’re a woman on a mission, we can definitely share with you some tips on how you can get your ex back after a long time. Before we get to the tips, however, allow us to ask one question. How long is a long time?
If you’ve been broken up for many years, it’s definitely much easier to get your ex back if both of you are still available. It’s as simple as adding them on Facebook and catching up with them via chat or casually inviting them for coffee. But if you’ve only been broken up for a few months or weeks, the waters can get tricky.
You’ve probably read on other blogs about not contacting your ex for some time. We hope that you used the no-contact period to heal yourself, to really get to the real reasons of your breakup, and not to manipulate your ex into contacting you. If you used the no-contact period for all the wrong reasons, you’re bound to break up again.
Anyway, if your ex is making contacting with you, the first thing you need to do is to control your emotions. Of course, you can tell your ex that you’re happy to hear from him, but don’t make it seem like you’re expecting him to get back together with you.
If there’s one thing that should be said about men, it is this: They love to be the knight in shining armor, and by that we mean that they like to be the one to make the move. That said, keep your cool and don’t throw yourself at your ex. Reply to his texts as soon as you can, ask mundane questions, like how his day is going so far and so on. But do NOT ever give the hint that you’re waiting for him to ask you out again.
The key here is to achieve three things: Not to make you look desperate or needy, to make it clear to him that you are not playing mind games, and to make him think that you haven’t moved on totally from him.
Do not ever play dirty psychological tricks on your ex-boyfriend, it has no place in healthy relationships. Sure, they might work for some time, especially on people who aren’t confident about themselves, but they usually don’t work in the long run.
If you haven’t heard back from your ex, we have to assume that you want him back more than he wants you. Put in another way, you will need to do most of the work to get him back. It may sound like an affront to your dignity, however, when you think that you’re only fighting for your happiness, it’s not as bad as it sounds.
You can make the first move and ask your ex how he’s doing after months or weeks of no contact, however, you need to be prepared for the possibility that you might never get him back. Send that message but don’t expect a quick reply or even a reply at all.
You can ask by asking a simple “How are you?” via any messaging service. If he does reply to you, follow it up with another message; what kind of message you send really depends on your ex-boyfriend’s personality. You could ask him about his work, his dog, or anything else that matters to him.
What’s important at this stage is to keep the conversation going. Don’t just be an ex-girlfriend to your ex, be a sincerely good friend to him. For some women, this can be a difficult thing to do as they’re in a rush to be on romantic terms with their boyfriend again, but trust us, true friendship is the best way to keep your ex when you’ve won him back!