How Do You Get Your Ex BF Back After A Long Time Out?

Filed in Get Your Ex Back by on March 25, 2015 12 Comments

get your ex boyfriend back after a long time
If you’ve been looking for advice on how to get your ex-boyfriend back after a long time, we’d like to tell you that sometimes the worst thing you can do to get what you want is to listen to other people’s advice. Why?

Every relationship is unique and each couple has its own set of dynamics, with each half of the pair reacting differently to different circumstances. In other words, what may work on other ex-boyfriends may not work on your ex-boyfriend. And so it goes.

But if you’re a woman on a mission, we can definitely share with you some tips on how you can get your ex back after a long time. Before we get to the tips, however, allow us to ask one question. How long is a long time?

If you’ve been broken up for many years, it’s definitely much easier to get your ex back if both of you are still available. It’s as simple as adding them on Facebook and catching up with them via chat or casually inviting them for coffee. But if you’ve only been broken up for a few months or weeks, the waters can get tricky.

You’ve probably read on other blogs about not contacting your ex for some time. We hope that you used the no-contact period to heal yourself, to really get to the real reasons of your breakup, and not to manipulate your ex into contacting you. If you used the no-contact period for all the wrong reasons, you’re bound to break up again.

Anyway, if your ex is making contacting with you, the first thing you need to do is to control your emotions. Of course, you can tell your ex that you’re happy to hear from him, but don’t make it seem like you’re expecting him to get back together with you.

If there’s one thing that should be said about men, it is this: They love to be the knight in shining armor, and by that we mean that they like to be the one to make the move. That said, keep your cool and don’t throw yourself at your ex. Reply to his texts as soon as you can, ask mundane questions, like how his day is going so far and so on. But do NOT ever give the hint that you’re waiting for him to ask you out again.

The key here is to achieve three things: Not to make you look desperate or needy, to make it clear to him that you are not playing mind games, and to make him think that you haven’t moved on totally from him.

Do not ever play dirty psychological tricks on your ex-boyfriend, it has no place in healthy relationships. Sure, they might work for some time, especially on people who aren’t confident about themselves, but they usually don’t work in the long run.

If you haven’t heard back from your ex, we have to assume that you want him back more than he wants you. Put in another way, you will need to do most of the work to get him back. It may sound like an affront to your dignity, however, when you think that you’re only fighting for your happiness, it’s not as bad as it sounds.

You can make the first move and ask your ex how he’s doing after months or weeks of no contact, however, you need to be prepared for the possibility that you might never get him back. Send that message but don’t expect a quick reply or even a reply at all.

You can ask by asking a simple “How are you?” via any messaging service. If he does reply to you, follow it up with another message; what kind of message you send really depends on your ex-boyfriend’s personality. You could ask him about his work, his dog, or anything else that matters to him.

What’s important at this stage is to keep the conversation going. Don’t just be an ex-girlfriend to your ex, be a sincerely good friend to him. For some women, this can be a difficult thing to do as they’re in a rush to be on romantic terms with their boyfriend again, but trust us, true friendship is the best way to keep your ex when you’ve won him back!

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Comments (12)

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  1. Montara says:

    Help me please

    • The AffairNet Team says:

      Hi Montara, please give us more details about your situation and we will try to help… All the best

      • MONTARA says:

        I was break up with my ex boyfriend 6 months already
        I need him back for me but he doesn’t want to get back with me

        So on last new year I went to his work
        He saw me and came to talk with me and say hi
        He asked about I have new boyfriend yet so I said I don’t have anyone else.

        He is instructor for surfing I went to his work place for surfing 2 times already since we break up, he smile and teach me for good but sometimes I don’t know how to do and act in front of him I need him back to be a boyfriend with me is so difficult I need your advice
        Please help me and contact me at my email
        Ploypomsereranee@gmail.com

  2. Tanya says:

    Hello Affairnet Team

    WE are broken up for the past 2 years. But we were in a relationship of 6.6 years prior to the break.

    I did a lot of emotional crying and begging for a long time, but for past few weeks my relation with ex is more mature and not erractically emotional.

    He responds to my texts almost immediatley, but I know he is on vacation at the moment (from his social media updates). Even though we are on firendly terms now, he has not shared this detail of his vacation with me.

    Does this mean anything?

    I want to try reconciliation with him, but I am not sure of the approach. He is currently in USA , while I am in Srilanka. Its been a long distance breakup.

    Thank you for your guidance.

    • AffairNet Team says:

      Hi Tanya, we are sorry to hear about your situation, however it is really hard for us to say if it really means anything or not since we don’t have enough details about him, about you and about your relationship in the past. Did you try reading one of the relationship guides that we recommend on our site? We believe that you may find some answers and useful advice there that may help you a lot… We wish you the best!

  3. Lana says:

    Hello, I am in a real pickle with my ex. We were together for over 6 years and we haven’t been together for exactly 6 months now and during this time for the majority of it, I’ve been in no contact as he broke up with me. If there has been contact, he’s initiated it with funny pics, inside jokes and general talk that would last only for a few messages. This was on and off until around 3 months ago I had a weak moment and asked him if we would ever patch things up. He said no to this and said we would not be getting back together, so I accepted that and went into strict NC for 2 months. Heard nothing from him for 2 months until he messaged me saying “I haven’t missed anything as much as I miss you right now. I’m sorry.” I didn’t reply to this as I was in complete shock and honestly had no idea on what to say to him.

    Ten days later, I had changed my WhatsApp picture to a new photo of me with a new haircut. He messaged me saying “You know you look better without the fringe.” This shocked me a little. I said “You seem to be the only person who thinks that.” This broke my no contact. We had a small chat, he was saying how I should get my hair cut short etc. He was never controlling in our relationship, but he always used to suggest I got a short bob haircut – which I never did. He also sent a photo of him in Paris, I think this was him subtly bragging to me, but I actually didn’t respond to that, instead I said “You look like your dad there.” Completely not responding to the fact he has gone away to Paris. I don’t know how this conversation went to be honest, it seems pretty lack lustre, and I think I acted a bit aloof, but was a little friendly towards the end of the conversation.

    Anyway, since then, 11 days ago, he sent me a photo which was a direct inside joke that we shared from when we first started dating 6 years ago. I responded to it by saying the inside joke as well and there was no reply. We haven’t spoken since.

    I’m sorry about the long message, but I am confused by his behaviour and his somewhat conflicting messages to me. He misses me, then he tells me how I should do my hair how he would like it (he’s not a controlling person, he was never ever controlling in our relationship), and he’s sending me inside jokes with a lot of nostalgia.

    I really don’t know what to do, I would absolutely love another chance with him, but I just don’t know what to say or how to tackle this situation. I really don’t feel confident as I don’t want to feel rejected, as it has taken me this long to feel okay and better about myself. Also during these 6 months, a lot of change has happened with me, physically and mentally. I am back at university, with loads of new friends and things are looking up for my career. But through all this, I still want to be with him and I know this for sure. Might sound so cheesy, but this time apart has made me realise how much I love him and want to be with him.

    Please help.

    • AffairNet Team says:

      Hey Lana, it seems that your situation is not simple and we can’t just say one thing that will help you immediately. Have you considered purchasing one of guides on how to get your ex back which we reviewed here? We think that they can absolutely help you in this situation. In addition, please check the other post that we published on how to get your ex back. You will find some answers to your questions there… We wish you the best and hope that you will get back together with your ex soon!

  4. Maggy says:

    Hello i never thought i will ever be in a situation like this but here i am.
    I broke up with my ex bf 9months ago and it seem like i still love him and i can’t seem to forget him.i really loved him,our Relationship lasted almost 2yrs and it felt to me like he was my dream man.
    He was 3yrs younger than me and he loved to party alot which at the end made me to end the Relationship because he could lie to me alot which resulted me to loose the trust.

    After 4months breakup, i started a new Relationship with a guy i used know years back( i would call it a Rebound relationship) because just 3 months later i just felt it wasn’t right and i called it an End. i used to compare the guy with my ex in so many situations.
    So like one month ago i went to a club we used to party with my ex bf and i saw him with his new gf.
    i felt so bad and i started missing him.
    All the good memories and bad memories flashed back.
    i feel like i still love him and i don’t know how i can get him back.

    • AffairNet Team says:

      Hey Maggy, we are sorry to hear about that, however there are certainly things you can do to try and get him back. Please search our site for posts on “how to get him back” and you will find some tips and techniques which may be useful for you. We wish you the best!

  5. mcao says:

    I am an indian, i doubt if the pyscology of the girls here match to what u say plsease let me know.

  6. Shafeek says:

    I have been with her4years.Then I left school in febrary 29 it is second last date of febrary.then again I met her in school at may she saw me and smile at me I smile at her.After15minutes I was finding her wen she is in her class she saw me Then she started to ignore me and again iam in no contact.I took mobile and put a coment on youtube and said averything that what I did when I met her in 19th May to breakup expert and he said she is giving u hot and cold give her45day of no contact45day sounds good he said.Again I will meet her at after four month.Will she come back to me.and I like to tell her i want to marry u when I should tell her

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