If you’ve had a short term relationship after splitting up with a former flame that you still secretly have feelings for, it doesn’t mean it’s impossible to find your way back into their arms at some point.
In reality, it’s only impossible if you give up on it. Just think about it and you’ll likely come up with all kinds of examples of times when people who were once estranged found themselves back in good graces with one another. You’ve likely seen it even within your own private circle more than a time or two. With the right attitude and approach, you can absolutely win your ex back.
First of all, it’s important to talk about the common situation where you might have thought it was a good idea to try to see someone else after you separated from your ex. A lot of different reasons might lead to such things, from either having someone else temporarily catch your eye to trying to force yourself to get over it as quickly as possible once you’re no longer together. A lot of these instances result in short term relationships that flicker out quickly.
One of the big worries if you’ve been with someone else for a while is that that alone will sour you in the eyes of the ex you want to get back with. It’s possible, of course, but that sort of thing can always be forgiven or looked past. In a lot of cases, a couple may mutually agree to try seeing other people, actually making it easier to come back together provided the attempts on both sides fall short of expectations. If you find yourself still pining for your former partner, that may actually be a good sign that they really are worth fighting for.
When it comes to actually getting your ex back, you have to do a lot of soul searching and maybe even put yourself through a crash course of maturity. Try not to be too egotistical about yourself and blind to your faults. Really think about whatever it was about you that your ex seemed not to gel with so much and try to figure out if you can comfortably change it to some extent. You never want to change yourself altogether for another person, but if there are obvious flaws in your character that you’d like to work on, well, there’s no better time than when trying to win back the heart of a loved one.
You should do your best to just get your life together. If there’s a certain situation holding you back from being the best possible boyfriend or girlfriend you can be and also capable of potentially moving into a serious, committed relationship, do your best to get ahead of it. It’s seldom attractive when people seem to be reluctant to take the reigns of their lives. You will immediately be far more appealing to your ex if they see you’re taking strides towards bettering yourself and securing your future.
This goes against a lot of people’s nature, but you should also avoid seeming needy at all costs. Don’t become overly effusive or lavish in praise of your ex. You really shouldn’t be putting them up on a pedestal, even if you really do think they’re the greatest person to have ever walked the Earth. For whatever reason, people are wired to turn the other way entirely when met with this sort of overbearing attention. It just feels like too much to process and deal with, and there are a lot of expectations being presented. It’s just too much.
So, that might unfortunately make it difficult to show that you’re interested in your ex again. You have to give them a good idea without making too much of it. They might even feel creeped out if you come across as too desperate in your desire for them. The best way to find the right balance is to be casual with any interaction you have with them. The key to this is to make sure they can tell you have other things going on (and also make sure that you genuinely do.)
Even so, you should be confident in suggesting that the two of you have dinner or something along those lines in order to catch up. This can come in any form, but make sure you ease into things. You can’t expect to pick up right where you left off in most cases. You’re going to need to rebuild your relationship from the ground up, so even though you know them, you should treat your new interactions with them as if you’re becoming familiar with them all over again. Play it cool and be yourself as much as possible. If there’s still a spark there, it just might work out in the end.